I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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