I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
