return my video game
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize