What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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