I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
