The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She's the barista slut.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
