I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
