Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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