Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
