i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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