We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I could make wine with my vomit
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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