Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
