I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
