when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Heβs going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and heβs racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. Iβm not wasting this waxing on John Deer
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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