need another drink. this is the easiest way
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
