What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
