Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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