so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize