one might say we're banned from that church
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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