So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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