dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
