I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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