Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
