if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
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