Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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