Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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