Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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