: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Randomize
