i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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