I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
