I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
