On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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