I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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