I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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