Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
