he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
