best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
