i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
