I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
