I must be too annoying 4 u.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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