hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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