the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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