There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize