So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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