Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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