I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
