Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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