Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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