And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
