The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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