I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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