i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
