dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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