The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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