There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
