What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
vagina is talking i cant
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
