Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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